Satisfaction versus Contentment

Went to my uncle's new house last night for Thanksgiving dinner... it's a large, gorgeous place in the Saratoga foothills with a wonderful view of the Valley. While we walked around admiring the expensive new furniture and classy paintings, I couldn't help but feel a bit out of place. It is a very nice house... but I think that my unease stemmed from the fact that it was an example of the mythical American success story - start a business, hit it big, cash in with nice things... and that I just knew that I personally wouldn't be happy simply achieving the means to purchase such a house. A few weeks ago, as I rode my bike around my local neighborhoods in very rich suburbs, I could find myself wondering whether the folks living in those houses were indeed happy and satisfied with their lives.

How do you know when you're truly satisfied? When there are no more wants? When there's nothing left to strive for?

While the dictionary makes no distinction between the ideas of satisfaction and contentment, I've come to believe that the distinction for me is that we will never be satisfied in this earthly life - but we can be content. The Apostle Paul writes a bit about contentment in Philippians 4, as he wrote from his jail cell:

I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

It's quite possible to live life from fleeting desire to fleeting desire, attributing too high of a priority to goals that ultimately don't have much value. While it might be satisfying to buy a big house one day, the next might bring a firestorm like the one Southern California experienced last month that tears down all that you worked for. While it might be satisfying to indulge in the pleasures of the flesh, the flesh will pass away. While I might feel a sense of satisfaction in the work I've done over the past half year, the fact remains that I feel uncertain about whether I will stay in this field long-term.

I think that ultimately, Paul knew what he was talking about when he wrote about contentment - we don't have to allow our circumstances to have the power to control our well-being, for God, the Creator and Authority over everything, desires that He would be the source of our strength and our satisfaction. John Piper has a well-known quote: "God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him."

As I read back through my journal on Wednesday, I came across a thought I jotted down a while ago after a "Simpsons" episode. In it, Bart is talking to a televangelist-type character:

Bart: "I think I'm gonna live a life of hedonism and sin, then go for the deathbed conversion."
Televangelist: [pause] "Now that's a good angle."

The thing is... while a life of hedonism and sin might seem fleetingly pleasurable, it is in fact a wasted and empty life when compared to the unsurpassed awesomeness of life through Jesus Christ. It might seem from the outside that following Christ is to deny all the things that make life fun, when it is in the very process of following Christ that I've had the opportunity to begin to experience real fullness, genuine excitement, and a lasting joy.

In my life, I'm striving to always be content, but never to be satisfied. This is my goal, and it is a delicate balance. I've learned during the difficult personal times this past half year that circumstances can sway my center more than I had anticipated, in that there were times I would despair for lack of seeing God meeting me in my weakness. As He's granted me the strength to persevere, however, this has in turn strengthened my confidence in Him to empower me to be content in a wider range of circumstances, and with how He's changing me in the midst of those circumstances. Despite all of this, I know that I will never be truly satisfied with what I have or who I am until I have all of Him - and I look forward to that day.