A fire shut up in my bones...
Why do I write?
A while back I noticed that a lot of bloggers were going through dry spells of keeping their blogs, wondering whether it was worth it, etc. Since I feel like I got in on this fad earlier than most other people (check out my archives! I'm not very prolific, but I'm an old-timer) I considered the question from my own perspective. While I was thinking, a verse came to mind:
But if I say, "I will not mention [God] or speak any more in his name," his word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones. I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot. - Jeremiah 20:9
When looking back at my old bookshelf a while ago, I noticed an old journal that I kept when I was in grade school. I had to laugh at my writing - I recorded some really, really boring things - but I felt enriched by the experience. Since college, I've (somewhat irregularly) kept a journal of thoughts, events, and ideas, simply because going back through those pages brings snapshots of memories to mind and in a way, seem to lengthen the years that I've been alive. I've heard many people lament that time seems to be going by so quickly... but I've found that just investing a little bit of time to write down even seemingly mundane parts of my life helps me remember so many things and parts of my worldview that would have faded from memory as I grew older. As I look back, I can see how my worldview has been changed and influenced, and since becoming a believer in Jesus Christ, I can rather clearly see the guiding hand of God all along the way.
I suppose that's why I keep this blog. Some people write to keep their friends and family updated; I feel that I write more as a testimony to myself - to continually repeat God's story in my life and reinforce who I am and who I am becoming. I hope that others might benefit from some of the truths I've seen borne out in my life, but even if not, like Jeremiah, I can't help but continue to chronicle His work in me.
This page is called "Musings of a Blindman"... "Blindman" was a handle I chose for myself freshman year at Berkeley when we were setting up our email accounts. It was originally a double-sided joke - 1) I don't see very well (see profile for my prescription), and 2) it's a lame pun based off of my first initial and last name ("B Lin d man"). However, the name has since taken on more of a spiritual meaning for me. A few years ago at Canaan during an evangelism workshop, we took a "personality test" of sorts that gauged the general manner in which you witness Christ to others. My results were closest to the blind man whose story shows up in John 9 - he was healed by Jesus and had his sight restored. His neighbors, friends, and finally the council of Pharisees began questioning him, asking him how this happened, and the formerly blind man kept saying that he didn't know how Jesus had done it, but that he had been healed. Finally, he kind of puts it together in this exchange (v. 24-30):
A second time they summoned the man who had been blind. "Give glory to God," they said. "We know this man is a sinner."
He replied, "Whether he is a sinner or not, I don't know. One thing I do know. I was blind but now I see!"
Then they asked him, "What did he do to you? How did he open your eyes?"
He answered, "I have told you already and you did not listen. Why do you want to hear it again? Do you want to become his disciples, too?"
Then they hurled insults at him and said, "You are this fellow's disciple! We are disciples of Moses! We know that God spoke to Moses, but as for this fellow, we don't even know where he comes from."
The man answered, "Now that is remarkable! You don't know where he comes from, yet he opened my eyes. We know that God does not listen to sinners. He listens to the godly man who does his will. Nobody has ever heard of opening the eyes of a man born blind. If this man were not from God, he could do nothing."
I will readily claim that I don't have all the answers, and I'm certainly not always right. But I know that I've been and am being changed, and I believe it's through God that this is being accomplished. So, whether there are others that read this or whether it's for my own benefit - I'm gonna continue to write about this journey.
Addendum... incidentally, I don't know if anyone actually reads this blog... but I do find it amusing that within a few days of my posting the link to the LOTR personality test I found on a message board, I've seen it on several other people's blogs.
Why do I write?
A while back I noticed that a lot of bloggers were going through dry spells of keeping their blogs, wondering whether it was worth it, etc. Since I feel like I got in on this fad earlier than most other people (check out my archives! I'm not very prolific, but I'm an old-timer) I considered the question from my own perspective. While I was thinking, a verse came to mind:
But if I say, "I will not mention [God] or speak any more in his name," his word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones. I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot. - Jeremiah 20:9
When looking back at my old bookshelf a while ago, I noticed an old journal that I kept when I was in grade school. I had to laugh at my writing - I recorded some really, really boring things - but I felt enriched by the experience. Since college, I've (somewhat irregularly) kept a journal of thoughts, events, and ideas, simply because going back through those pages brings snapshots of memories to mind and in a way, seem to lengthen the years that I've been alive. I've heard many people lament that time seems to be going by so quickly... but I've found that just investing a little bit of time to write down even seemingly mundane parts of my life helps me remember so many things and parts of my worldview that would have faded from memory as I grew older. As I look back, I can see how my worldview has been changed and influenced, and since becoming a believer in Jesus Christ, I can rather clearly see the guiding hand of God all along the way.
I suppose that's why I keep this blog. Some people write to keep their friends and family updated; I feel that I write more as a testimony to myself - to continually repeat God's story in my life and reinforce who I am and who I am becoming. I hope that others might benefit from some of the truths I've seen borne out in my life, but even if not, like Jeremiah, I can't help but continue to chronicle His work in me.
This page is called "Musings of a Blindman"... "Blindman" was a handle I chose for myself freshman year at Berkeley when we were setting up our email accounts. It was originally a double-sided joke - 1) I don't see very well (see profile for my prescription), and 2) it's a lame pun based off of my first initial and last name ("B Lin d man"). However, the name has since taken on more of a spiritual meaning for me. A few years ago at Canaan during an evangelism workshop, we took a "personality test" of sorts that gauged the general manner in which you witness Christ to others. My results were closest to the blind man whose story shows up in John 9 - he was healed by Jesus and had his sight restored. His neighbors, friends, and finally the council of Pharisees began questioning him, asking him how this happened, and the formerly blind man kept saying that he didn't know how Jesus had done it, but that he had been healed. Finally, he kind of puts it together in this exchange (v. 24-30):
A second time they summoned the man who had been blind. "Give glory to God," they said. "We know this man is a sinner."
He replied, "Whether he is a sinner or not, I don't know. One thing I do know. I was blind but now I see!"
Then they asked him, "What did he do to you? How did he open your eyes?"
He answered, "I have told you already and you did not listen. Why do you want to hear it again? Do you want to become his disciples, too?"
Then they hurled insults at him and said, "You are this fellow's disciple! We are disciples of Moses! We know that God spoke to Moses, but as for this fellow, we don't even know where he comes from."
The man answered, "Now that is remarkable! You don't know where he comes from, yet he opened my eyes. We know that God does not listen to sinners. He listens to the godly man who does his will. Nobody has ever heard of opening the eyes of a man born blind. If this man were not from God, he could do nothing."
I will readily claim that I don't have all the answers, and I'm certainly not always right. But I know that I've been and am being changed, and I believe it's through God that this is being accomplished. So, whether there are others that read this or whether it's for my own benefit - I'm gonna continue to write about this journey.
Addendum... incidentally, I don't know if anyone actually reads this blog... but I do find it amusing that within a few days of my posting the link to the LOTR personality test I found on a message board, I've seen it on several other people's blogs.
posted by Bob at
9:12 PM
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