Found this off of Richard's blog:

Why Men Are Happier Than Women

1. We keep our last name.
2. The garage is all ours.
3. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
4. Chocolate is just another snack.
5. We can be president.
6. We can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
7. Car mechanics tell us the truth.
8. The world is our urinal.
9. We never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky.
10. Same work, more pay.
11. Wrinkles add character.
12. Wedding dress - $5000; tux rental - $100.
13. People never stare at our chest when we're talking to them.
14. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
15. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle our feet.
16. One mood, ALL the time.
17. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
18. We know stuff about tanks.
19. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
20. We can open all our own jars.
21. We get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
22. If someone forgets to invite us, he or she can still be our friend.
23. Our underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
24. Everything on our face stays its original color.
25. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
26. We don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
27. We almost never have strap problems in public
28. We are unable to see wrinkles in our clothes.
29. The same hair style lasts for years, maybe decades.
30. We don't have to shave below our neck.
31. Our belly usually hides our big hips.
32. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
33. We can "do" our nails with a pocket-knife.
34. We have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
35. We can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24, in 45 minutes.

And here are a couple I pulled off of Kristin's site:

Real IRC chats

[TXTerron] wanna know whats geeky?
[Jennifer] hmm?
[TXTerron] I'm driving down the road
[Jennifer] I drove down the road today too...
[Jennifer] Wait, You mean you're on irc in your truck?
[TXTerron] yeah, using my wireless card
[Jennifer] ^___^
[Jennifer] Jason, is that safe?
[TXTerron] na, i just type with one hand while I'm driving and halfway watch the road, its cool, dont worry
[Jennifer] You're good with typing with one hand?
[TXTerron] shaddup :D
[TXTerron] [edited]
[TXTerron] i just rear ended a lady
[TXTerron] brb :(

[danamania] yay I fixed my laptops battery!
[danamania] it was so dead, nothing would charge it
[danamania] so I gave it the electronic equivalent of a kick in the head, by shorting the +/- terminals for 5 minutes
[gelfie] don't they have stickers on them that say they could explode or catch fire by doing that?
[danamania] yeah but it's ok, I took them off first.

[m[e]ntor] Does anyone know where I can buy 100 m of wireless lan cable?
[insight] Well, you could try NASA's "things not yet and never will be invented"-department or something.

[Cross] Oh, wow. Old school papers.
[Cross] This one was on 'alternative energy sources'. This is from near the end, when I was really too tired to be writing:
[Cross] "Wind energy is a method of collecting power from the blowing of the wind. Not only is this a clean and renewable energy source, but it can actually displace excess Carbon Dioxide in an area. Problems behind wind energy also exist. It is not available in many areas, and requires a lot of money to build. The wind turbines can also interfere with television and radio signals and cause noise pollution. Also, birds can fly into the rotors."
[Cross] "Then they have to send the janitor Steve out to clean the thing, and it just ruins his day. Then he goes home and beats his kids. So if you support wind energy, you support domestic violence."
[Cross] That's when you know you're tired.
[Herring] That is awesome.

[billyblacktop] yo yo yo, sup my niggas?
[jimmy2toes] your not black
[billyblacktop] how do you know that?
[jimmy2toes] I hacked your webcam, and now I can see you
[billyblacktop] yeah right you cant do that
[jimmy2toes] I can and I did.
[billyblacktop] ok then what color hair do I have
[jimmy2toes] Hmmm, let me zoom in a bit. Blonde, and you are white, about 6' 2", your room has an emenim poster and your bedspread is yellow and blue.
[billyblacktop] holy [edited] man im telling the cops
Quits: {billyblacktop} (billyb@235.253.473.232) (Quit:)
[jimmy2toes] LMAO, that was a friend of mine, I just set up his comp today, and showed him mirc, he doesnt know my nick, what a fat tool!!!

[FyNXeR] Pardon my spelling... but I'm from Sweden
[sumbody] pardon my accent, i am from southeast asia
[DrMonkey] pardon my shotgun, i'm from west virginia

[Unleaded] I did something really geeky just now
[Ex0duz] watched star trek ?
[Unleaded] I was reading a magazine, and I glanced at the bottom right hand corner of the page expecting to see the time... :/

[Infe] what happens if you try to recharge an alkaline battery
[HomerJ] blows up
[Andrigaar] Don't they explode?
[Andrigaar] I wonder if it's violent or just some leaking battery acid.
[Infe] i think it's all a scam to get you to pay more for 'rechargeables' and ---
[Infe] AHHHHHHHHHHH MY FACE
[Infe] AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH