"Dating advice"

Writing up a post on a couple of diff topics, but for the time being, here's an amusing snippet from an Insidehoops column where the columnist gives a graduating-from-college reader dating advice in the "real world". Anyone think this is accurate?

I am a soon-to-be recent college grad. I am nervous about entering the real-world work-force along with the real-world dating scene. Any advice?

EG

Dear EG:

You should be nervous. Unlike college, where you can go to a college bar, hang out with drunken underclass co-eds, ask their major and watch them swoon, the real world dating-scene is much more competitive. Here’s some thoughts:

- Learn the Word “Merlot” (pronounced Mer-Lowe). When you take real-world women out to dinner you have to ask them “Do you want to get wine?” They always say “Yes”. Whatever they order, you can feel secure in saying Merlot. They think you have taste and are impressed that you pronounced it correctly.

- Read a book. They’ll always ask, what’s your favorite book. You better have an answer. It cannot be “Catcher in the Rye”. Go to Barnes & Noble, pick up something you’ve heard of, but hasn’t been a movie – tough one. Read it and prepare to discuss. A good recent example is “The DaVinci Code”.

- Buy a Lamp. No one ever tells you this. Overhead lighting makes people look bad. White people look like ghosts. Lighting from below makes you look mysterious and tan. Women know this and will appreciate your ability to light them appropriately.

- Get a Job. “What do you do?” “Well, I’m still looking” “Best of luck with that. Bye.” Get it? Get a job.

- Three Good Stories. Everyone needs three good stories. Interesting, funny, easy to tell, and highlights your good points. Tell them to friends and family until your delivery is perfect. Keep them short and NOT about work. This is actually easier than buying the lamp.