This probably isn't real. But it might be...

CHICAGO (AP) -- Chicago Bears football practice was delayed nearly two hours today after a player reported finding an unknown white powdery substance on the practice field. Head coach Dick Jauron immediately suspended practice while police and federal investigators were called to investigate. After a complete analysis, FBI forensic experts determined that the white substance unknown to players was the goal line. Practice was resumed after special agents decided the team was unlikely to encounter the substance again.

Another one:

-- From Michael Irvin of Fox Sports Net's "Best Damn Sports Show Period": "Jimmy Johnson used to tell us, 'Listen, you came to the University of Miami to play football. If you wanted an education, you should have gone to Harvard. ' "