God loves you too much to let you stay the way that you are.
An optimist thinks that this is the best of all worlds, a pessimist fears the same. - my yearbook senior quote, 1996
A few Fridays ago at youth group, I had the opportunity to take a trip back down memory lane to share a little bit about what I was like in high school. Each time I flip through the yearbooks or go through old photo albums, I feel a wide variety of reactions sweep through me. Previously, I detailed some of my experiences and thoughts in this post from last August. There's some depression at the lifeless robot I basically conformed to being. There's some resentment at others, but primarily myself, for never really developing personal relationships because I was an empty shell. I only went skin deep, placing a premium on academic performance and good behavior, like a model second-generation Asian-American is supposed to value. Thing is, because I focused on these and only these things, I never really discovered who I really was. I was pretty much a living stereotype - from outward appearances, I was a good guy, but there was nothing authentic or sincere about me, I think. Heck, even my senior quote was an attempt at being faux-philosophical intellectual, and ended up being really lame.
I found this quiz online and took it from the perspective of what I remember being like back in high school:
That sounds about right. As I was sharing my story with this current incarnation of my church's youth group, I couldn't tell if my experience was resonating with anyone, but more than anything, I wanted to let them know that in the last almost-decade since leaving high school, God has picked me up, ripped out a shallow heart of stone, and is slowly transplanting into me a heart of flesh. He took a big sledgehammer to all of the idols I had built up in my life and reduced them to rubble. A lot of the time, that really hurt, and healing has left scars. But, ever since God got my attention right before college, I believe I've come alive as a person and a uniquely created being. I can understand a little better the value of people and the shared experience I have with almost everyone. I treasure introspection and the development of personal depth. I can see the world in the light of Christ and the big overall plan and purpose I can choose to live for. It's easier to be in relationship with others when I have a better idea of who I am myself. Whereas I used to allow pessimism to color my words, ideas, and critiques, I now realize that this was due to the focus being on me and what I had made myself to be in my mind. As I've had the opportunity to shift more of my mental cycles away from myself and onto God, life has become simpler and I have become optimistic enough that the other day, my coworker jokingly accused me of always finding the silver lining. I'd never have expected that back in high school.
I guess that was the message I wanted to tell the youth about - God loves us too much to let us stay the way that we are. He works things out so that His Name might be glorified, and sometimes it takes being swallowed by a big fish or orchestrating difficult circumstances in my life so that Jonah and I would be obedient to proclaiming His works. The great thing is that there is joy in the journey of being made new as well as the anticipation of finally being made fully into the likeness of Christ. I can only hope and pray that the youth learn this at a younger age than I did.
An optimist thinks that this is the best of all worlds, a pessimist fears the same. - my yearbook senior quote, 1996
A few Fridays ago at youth group, I had the opportunity to take a trip back down memory lane to share a little bit about what I was like in high school. Each time I flip through the yearbooks or go through old photo albums, I feel a wide variety of reactions sweep through me. Previously, I detailed some of my experiences and thoughts in this post from last August. There's some depression at the lifeless robot I basically conformed to being. There's some resentment at others, but primarily myself, for never really developing personal relationships because I was an empty shell. I only went skin deep, placing a premium on academic performance and good behavior, like a model second-generation Asian-American is supposed to value. Thing is, because I focused on these and only these things, I never really discovered who I really was. I was pretty much a living stereotype - from outward appearances, I was a good guy, but there was nothing authentic or sincere about me, I think. Heck, even my senior quote was an attempt at being faux-philosophical intellectual, and ended up being really lame.
I found this quiz online and took it from the perspective of what I remember being like back in high school:
 | You scored as Loner.
What's Your High School Stereotype? created with QuizFarm.com |
That sounds about right. As I was sharing my story with this current incarnation of my church's youth group, I couldn't tell if my experience was resonating with anyone, but more than anything, I wanted to let them know that in the last almost-decade since leaving high school, God has picked me up, ripped out a shallow heart of stone, and is slowly transplanting into me a heart of flesh. He took a big sledgehammer to all of the idols I had built up in my life and reduced them to rubble. A lot of the time, that really hurt, and healing has left scars. But, ever since God got my attention right before college, I believe I've come alive as a person and a uniquely created being. I can understand a little better the value of people and the shared experience I have with almost everyone. I treasure introspection and the development of personal depth. I can see the world in the light of Christ and the big overall plan and purpose I can choose to live for. It's easier to be in relationship with others when I have a better idea of who I am myself. Whereas I used to allow pessimism to color my words, ideas, and critiques, I now realize that this was due to the focus being on me and what I had made myself to be in my mind. As I've had the opportunity to shift more of my mental cycles away from myself and onto God, life has become simpler and I have become optimistic enough that the other day, my coworker jokingly accused me of always finding the silver lining. I'd never have expected that back in high school.
I guess that was the message I wanted to tell the youth about - God loves us too much to let us stay the way that we are. He works things out so that His Name might be glorified, and sometimes it takes being swallowed by a big fish or orchestrating difficult circumstances in my life so that Jonah and I would be obedient to proclaiming His works. The great thing is that there is joy in the journey of being made new as well as the anticipation of finally being made fully into the likeness of Christ. I can only hope and pray that the youth learn this at a younger age than I did.
posted by Bob at
11:07 PM
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