Satisfaction versus Contentment

Went to my uncle's new house last night for Thanksgiving dinner... it's a large, gorgeous place in the Saratoga foothills with a wonderful view of the Valley. While we walked around admiring the expensive new furniture and classy paintings, I couldn't help but feel a bit out of place. It is a very nice house... but I think that my unease stemmed from the fact that it was an example of the mythical American success story - start a business, hit it big, cash in with nice things... and that I just knew that I personally wouldn't be happy simply achieving the means to purchase such a house. A few weeks ago, as I rode my bike around my local neighborhoods in very rich suburbs, I could find myself wondering whether the folks living in those houses were indeed happy and satisfied with their lives.

How do you know when you're truly satisfied? When there are no more wants? When there's nothing left to strive for?

While the dictionary makes no distinction between the ideas of satisfaction and contentment, I've come to believe that the distinction for me is that we will never be satisfied in this earthly life - but we can be content. The Apostle Paul writes a bit about contentment in Philippians 4, as he wrote from his jail cell:

I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

It's quite possible to live life from fleeting desire to fleeting desire, attributing too high of a priority to goals that ultimately don't have much value. While it might be satisfying to buy a big house one day, the next might bring a firestorm like the one Southern California experienced last month that tears down all that you worked for. While it might be satisfying to indulge in the pleasures of the flesh, the flesh will pass away. While I might feel a sense of satisfaction in the work I've done over the past half year, the fact remains that I feel uncertain about whether I will stay in this field long-term.

I think that ultimately, Paul knew what he was talking about when he wrote about contentment - we don't have to allow our circumstances to have the power to control our well-being, for God, the Creator and Authority over everything, desires that He would be the source of our strength and our satisfaction. John Piper has a well-known quote: "God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him."

As I read back through my journal on Wednesday, I came across a thought I jotted down a while ago after a "Simpsons" episode. In it, Bart is talking to a televangelist-type character:

Bart: "I think I'm gonna live a life of hedonism and sin, then go for the deathbed conversion."
Televangelist: [pause] "Now that's a good angle."

The thing is... while a life of hedonism and sin might seem fleetingly pleasurable, it is in fact a wasted and empty life when compared to the unsurpassed awesomeness of life through Jesus Christ. It might seem from the outside that following Christ is to deny all the things that make life fun, when it is in the very process of following Christ that I've had the opportunity to begin to experience real fullness, genuine excitement, and a lasting joy.

In my life, I'm striving to always be content, but never to be satisfied. This is my goal, and it is a delicate balance. I've learned during the difficult personal times this past half year that circumstances can sway my center more than I had anticipated, in that there were times I would despair for lack of seeing God meeting me in my weakness. As He's granted me the strength to persevere, however, this has in turn strengthened my confidence in Him to empower me to be content in a wider range of circumstances, and with how He's changing me in the midst of those circumstances. Despite all of this, I know that I will never be truly satisfied with what I have or who I am until I have all of Him - and I look forward to that day.

This is my physical prime?

In pro sports, athletes are considered to be in their prime generally in the years between 25 and 32, with some variation for the different sports. Basketball and football players are in their prime from 25-30, with baseball a bit later on (27-32). This is supposed to mark the athlete's prime years of productivity from both a skill and experience standpoint, as well as still having a high level of physical ability to accomplish those skills.

I'm 25, so I'm supposed to be in my physical prime. I'm supposed to be more experienced at the sports I play, yet still have the athleticism to run all day without getting tired, jump higher than other people, and heal overnight to get right back out there to take on the next challenger.

So why the heck am I sore all over the day after Turkey Bowl? An inventory:
- sore neck (coupla hard falls)
- sore left shoulder (inadvertent tackle during flag football)
- sore quads (didn't stretch enough)
- blister on big toe (borrowed cleats)

I'm guessing it's because I'm not in shape... or, I'm not very tough. I'm not that old yet. But I do feel like I need a long soak in a jacuzzi...

Turkey Bowl itself was fun... I dropped two easy TD passes and slipped on another play with open field in front of me, so I was kind of annoyed at my own performance. Nothing particularly memorable this year, however.

Personal recap

Week in review...

- After the 3 am odyssey last Friday night/Sat morning, woke up on Saturday at noon, went to lunch with my bro at Tony Roma's where we chowed on ribs and caught up with each other, all the while expressing dismay at the way Cal was horridly playing in the first half of the Big Game. Fortunately they came back in the 2nd half. Things look good for the program moving forward.

- Celebrated Byron's birthday with a viewing of the extended edition of the Two Towers and sent off Joseph with a bash replete with obscure memories, food, and laughter. Good times.

- Practiced and played with the youth praise band both Sat and Sun, as the youth group did a great job serving in this past week's Thanksgiving Sunday Service. I got many comments from congregation members who enjoyed their enthusiasm in serving God and who expressed surprise at the youth's maturity. I had the chance to play piano, tambourine, and drums. I've always admired those multi-instrumentalists in bands who can switch effortlessly from guitar to percussion to keyboard to backup vocals, as well as more obscure instruments like the mandolin and hammered dulcimer.

- Monday and Tuesday were relatively easy days at the office, filled with cleaning, tying up loose ends, filling out reports, and a fair amount of ping-pong. Tuesday, we went to lunch at an Indian buffet that was playing Bollywood music videos, which were enthralling to the American-born contingent of my company. There's actually kind of a Broadway feel, with lots of extras and choreography to the dancing... like N'Sync in its heyday, multiplied by 40.

- Wednesday, spent some time in a personal retreat, reading Scripture and journal entries from the past year... will gather my thoughts and post some when I have the time.

- Got to hold my baby cousin for the first time last night at Thanksgiving dinner. She's 7 months old now and very cute. It was amusing to see both my parents cooing and playing with her... I figure that with her around, the pressure for grandkids will be off me for a few years.

Took until nearly 3 am. But I think we did it.

Time to go home, shower, and sleep till the BIG GAME! GO BEARS!

Death March Mode

Vacant stares, brains working at minimal capacity, bloodshot eyes, tired hands... these are the characteristics of the legendary Death March Mode. In other words, upping the pressure level to maximum this week (13-14 hrs a day) to make release by tomorrow.

Interestingly, I think I've been handling it pretty well. Maybe my mind and body are adapting.

T-minus 1 week to Thanksgiving...

Last weekend... worked all day Saturday, then hung out at JT's place with a bunch of people at night, playing CoMotion, Sequence, and watching most of Finding Nemo. During the evening a strange disease afflicted people so that they began talking with accents from Chinese soap opera stars.

Sunday, thought-provoking message from Pastor Tim about the nature of success, preaching from Phil 3:12-14 (a favorite of mine) and 2 Tim 4:6-8 (including the well-known "fought the good fight, finished the race, kept the faith" verse). I think this'll deserve it's own post; the last two weeks' messages (time and success) seem to be different sides of the same coin for me.

Sunday night, we "gorged ourselves on basketball" (as Byron put it). JKuo opened up the gym at the high school he works at and we played from 6:30 pm till 10. Boy, it was fun to be back in a gym. I didn't shoot that much. I remember the "good fundamentals" plays that I make, so my memorable moment from Sunday was setting up on the wing, waiting for a teammate to establish post position, then making the entry bounce pass to the open side after he sealed off his man which led to an easy pivot and layup.

Things that made me laugh this morning: Danny's Nov. 18 entry, and the email we got from our boss this morning:

"Donuts in the kitchen, for lunch and dinner."

I wonder if she was kidding...

Back to work. One finish line is in sight...

Say what?!

Bob (9:19:00 PM): Garcia or Rattay?
Eric (9:19:17 PM): not sure...but rattay is a much better looking guy
Bob (9:19:55 PM): ... from a physical attractiveness standpoint?
Bob (9:20:00 PM): ??
Eric (9:20:02 PM): yes
Bob (9:20:03 PM): what the heck
Eric (9:20:05 PM): haha

Weekend update to come...

ouch...

Our admin person (a very nice, middle-aged Hispanic woman) came through the engineering area in a rush at lunchtime when I was the only person in my cube (most everyone else had gone out). "I'm looking for someone to help the shipping guy lift the appliances we're sending out onto the hand cart, but... [looks at me, slouched over in my chair after lunch] you're too little."

Ouch.

I'm not sure if it was better or worse that she said it in such a nice tone of voice. I think I need to hit the weights again. Haha...

double ouch... sorta

Gonna be working a full day tomorrow due to our schedule, but we'll get it made up by having an extra day off during Thanksgiving week (probably the Wednesday beforehand). Also, the last time I felt major resentment working on a Saturday was a few months ago when I was planning on going camping; this time I have no plans for tomorrow, so I'm not feeling it as much. Plus, the weather's not as gorgeous as it was in September. Work it is!

Ramblings

What do you do when you're waiting for other people to finish work so you can test it? You write, of course!

- I think the concert review I posted underneath this one may very well be the longest blog I've ever written. I feel like I should get a picture of a gold star and stick it on my website somewhere. Mmm... nah.

- Analogy of the day: as I was reading from Piper's latest this morning, he quoted from one of CS Lewis' books a story called "Meditation from a Toolshed". To paraphrase, Lewis wrote about a time where he walked into his backyard windowless toolshed. He noticed a single ray of light that beamed into the blackness of the shed, illuminating particles in the air and offering a stark contrast to the surrounding darkness. After admiring it for a while, he positioned himself so that he could look up into the ray of light. His entire perspective changed - all of the darkness melted away around him, the light became gloriously bright, and beyond the crack in the ceiling he could see a few swaying branches in front of the sun, the source of the ray of light.

The analogy is this: as humans, we often go through life occasionally recognizing beams of light that pierce through a dark world, but it is only when we are squarely in the middle of that light and looking upward does our perspective change and we see the source. We may see bits and pieces of God's handiwork in the world, either through creation, or people's deeds, or perhaps even God working Himself. However, until we place ourselves square in the middle of that handiwork, we will never really see the Source and never experience the change in worldview that is brought about when we are in His presence.

Good stuff.

- I'm really looking forward to Thanksgiving weekend. Haven't had time off in a long, long time. Will be good to spend time with family and friends, eat, play some sports, and go to the Warriors-Spurs game on the 29th.

- I won my very first Ebay auction today. Well, actually it wasn't a "real" auction but instead a "dutch" auction, where you bid on one of a quantity of a product. Anyhow, I won one of these, joining the exclusive club currently inhabited by Andrew N and JT. Exercise is a good thing.

- Incidentally, I think that I've been spending too much money recently - the door gym, CDs (just ordered another few from BMG), concert tickets... I think I'm gonna have to discipline myself to stop using the credit card for a while.

- Recently, the conversation topic of choice amongst my coworkers was to throw out one-on-one matchups between various fictional (mostly sci-fi) movie characters and debate which would have the upper hand in a fight. It started when we were discussing the upcoming 2004 summer movie "Alien vs. Predator", and then kinda snowballed from there. Some of the more fun ones included:

1) Alien vs. Predator vs. Terminator (T-800/Arnold model)
Alien has strength, speed, and acid going for it; Predator has strength and speed but in less quantity than the alien, also has the shoulder-mounted cannon, invisibility cloak, and the tactical mind to hunt; Terminator is relentless, difficult to destroy, and has ranged energy weapons. We ended up determining that the fight would depend on the locale - put them all on a plain field and the Terminator would probably take it, close confines would give it to the Alien, and a large complex area (like a city or a jungle) would give it to the Predator.

2) Terminator (T-1000 liquid metal model) vs. just about anybody
We determined that the T-1000 is just about invincible, unless his opponent has access to a liquid metal plant. You'd need to like, solidify him with Mr. Freeze's ice gun and then drop him in a volcano or something.

3) Space Marines (Aliens movie) vs. Roughnecks (Starship Troopers)
If it's the movie version of the Roughnecks, then the Space Marines win hands down. They've got smart guns. On the other hand, if it's the Starship Troopers from Heinlein's novel (with powered armor), then the Space Marines don't stand a chance.

4) Legolas vs. Predator
Battleground: the woods. We determined that Legolas would need to have the near-invisible elven cloak to stand a chance, and only if we deprived the Predator of his shoulder-mounted cannon. Then, it would be a contest.

Finally, the granddaddy showdown of them all:
5) Darth Vader vs. Gandalf
This one was too close to call. After going back and forth for a while, we decided to call it a 12-round draw.

The Trouble Is, even the Sunny Days in This World can be Crazy Times if we don't have a Hope to Carry On

On Saturday, I had the opportunity to see my current #1 and #3 ranking bands on my favorites list (with Switchfoot, who I saw back in September, ranking #2 at the moment) in concert up in Castro Valley. Here's a recap:

I arrived at the Redwood Chapel about 15 minutes late, as ever-reliable Yahoo! Maps led me astray again and I had to backtrack on the freeway. As I ran up to the front door and met my friend who was waiting with my ticket, I heard the shaggy-haired gentleman in front of me say, "I'm in the band." I looked at the guy in front of me and sure enough, it was Andrew Osenga, former frontman for The Normals and the newest member of Caedmon's Call, essentially replacing longtime member Derek Webb (who left earlier this year to pursue a solo career) as lead guitarist and high-harmonizer. I found it amusing that even though I was late, someone who was due up on stage in 20 minutes was there at the same time as I was. I have to figure that he rehearsed with everyone earlier in the day, then stepped out for a while to get a bite to eat or something. He did offer the excuse, "Yeah, I'm the new guy."

I missed Me Died Blue. I'm blue

I found my seat in the 2nd row of the left side of the balcony just as the opening act, Steven Delopoulos, was finishing up his set - much to my dismay. I've had his album for a few months and it's a stellar folk record with fun fingerpicking patterns, Mediterranean/Greek influence, and thoughtful songwriting that I haven't been able to completely figure out yet. The (half of) one song I was able to hear from him was pretty darn cool - I'm guessing he uses a thumb pick or something in order to switch quickly between very fast Shane Barnard-like strumming and the fingerstyle that he's known for.

On the plus side, I was able to meet him after the show, as he hung out at his merchandise booth and personally greeted and signed autographs for everyone buying his stuff. After shaking hands, I apologized for missing most of his show, complimented him on the stellar album, and asked if he was going to be back in the Bay Area again any time soon (probably not until mid-2004 at the earliest). I suggested that he look to do a coffeehouse tour as his music would probably translate better in that setting.

The Hands of the Potter can play a pretty mean percussion, too

Caedmon's Call took the stage next, made up of: Cliff Young (lead vocals, acoustic guitar), Danielle Young (vocals), Andrew Osenga (lead guitar, mandolin, vocals), Josh Moore (guitar, keyboard, accordion, percussion), Todd Bragg (drums), Garrett Buell (percussion), and Jeff Miller (bass). Incidentally, one minor annoyance from the evening was that both bands didn't bother introducing the individual members to the audience, as they typically do in concert

Being an acoustic guitarist myself, I immediately noticed that Cliff and Josh were playing McPhersons. If you're too lazy to click on that link, basically McPhersons are acoustic guitars that have an elliptical sound hole moved to the top of the guitar, which is supposed to give more continuous surface area on the solid top for vibration, translating into better sound quality. They run $4k each. They sounded pretty good; although not distinctively different from the Taylors Jars used later.

The band kicked off their set with a faithful rendition of the acapella song "I Will Sing" by Rich Mullins, with killer harmonies from Cliff, Danielle, and Andy O. I noticed that Andy O was hitting the high register notes that Derek used to hit with ease, so that was one point in favor so far. They then segued into the familiar acoustic intro to "Hope to Carry On", another Mullins cover and one of the fan favorites from their self-titled label debut.

After a few from their worship album (Before There Was Time and Who You Are), they paused for a bit and Cliff introduced himself and talked a bit about the band, how it was their first time in the Bay Area, etc. I've read elsewhere that he tends to ramble quite a bit in concert, and it showed some (plenty of "Uh..." and "Um..."), but for the most part he kept it fairly toned down and kept the evening going. He even had a few genuinely funny jokes: "For this next song, we're going to need the audience's support. So clap your hands, stomp your feet, whatever your denomination allows." "I've just been informed that Danielle's and my old high school choir director is with us tonight, so we're understandably a bit nervous. I guess if you hear someone in the back yelling out, 'Flat!!!', just try to ignore him." He also shared about worship, a desire for the church to love rather than be rooted in hypocrisy, and also a challenge to care for the poor through Compassion International (where he also talked a bit about Rich Mullins as a mentor for the band). There was very little on-stage banter, although there was an amusing exchange with Josh, who was having problems with his B-3 organ - "I've said it before, and I'll say it again: Satan himself lives in this organ." There was another funny moment for fans when someone yelled out "Bus Driver!" and Cliff began explaining how that's one of Derek's songs so they don't play it anymore... then Andy O began the familiar opening shuffling riff, and then stopped suddenly, saying, "That's all I know."

The setlist itself was a decent mix of oldies (Hope to Carry On, This World, 40 Acres), worship (Before There Was Time, Who You Are, Warrior, God of Wonders) and songs off the newest album, Back Home (Only Hope, Walk With Me, Hands of the Potter). In addition, they covered one Paul Simon song (Diamonds in the Soles of Her Shoes) and there was another one by Danielle that I didn't recognize - could have been off one of their indie releases or another cover. In general, the music was pretty faithful to the album versions, and Andy O did a pretty good job handling the electric solos and fills that Derek used to do. It was fun watching instrumentalist wunderkind Josh switch smoothly between keyboard, acoustic guitar, accordion, and percussion between songs.

The highlight of the live show was the percussion. On the albums, the drums, bongos, shakers, tambourines, metal lids, etc. are relatively muted, but in person the various complex rhythms combine to form a mesmerizing backdrop that overshadowed most of the instruments. It was quite a challenge to watch each percussionist during a song and try to figure out what he was doing individually, and then what layer that added to the song as a whole. Good stuff!

What could have been better? I'll make it short and sweet: I miss the two original primary songwriters for the band, Derek Webb and Aaron Tate. Kinda funny... when I first started getting into Caedmon's music, I didn't like most of Derek's songs, but somehow when I hit my mid-twenties songs like "Somewhere North", "Love is Different", "What You Want" and all the rest just suddenly clicked for me. Plus, he has quite the reputation as a live guitarist, doing some of his most impressive stuff when he's playing lead and not worrying about singing at the same time. Ah well, I'll have to catch him when his solo act comes to town. As for Tate, his songs have always been more explicitly Christian in content, but they were noticeably more theologically profound and poetic than most of the stuff off their new album. I've heard some good things about Andy O's songwriting from his time with his own band, The Normals, and so here's hoping that as they move forward, the songwriting quality goes up. I'm thinking: Tate comes back and contributes 4 to their next album, Andy O writes 4, and the rest of the "guild" of songwriters writes 4. Oh, and let Andy O sing lead on a few songs. That would be cool.

I'm gonna Show You Love in a whole new style

As the stage crew broke down Caedmon's setup and began bringing out Jars' equipment and instruments, I noticed that there was nary an electric guitar in sight. Plenty of acoustic guitars, a small upright piano, drum set, electric bass and upright bass, but no electric guitar. This was my first clue that things would be very different than the Eleventh Hour tour, and as a fan of acoustic music, I was stoked. I also knew that I probably wouldn't need to stand up for most of their set.

The Jar boys (Dan Haseltine on vocals, Steve Mason on lead guitar, Matt Odmark on rhythm guitar, and Charlie Lowell on keyboards) came out and launched straight into "I Need You". I noticed almost immediately that Matt is now doing more interesting things on the guitar than just rhythm - some picking, riffs/fills, etc. They then threw me for a loop when they broke into the familiar intro to their mega-hit "Flood", in just the second song of the set! Usually they save the big hits for the encore! Basically, what that said to me was, "We know that most of you are here because you know our first CD, but we would like to get past that and show you that we've grown and matured quite a bit as artists." I happen to like that boldness to be different; I don't know if most of the audience was ready for it (as their new album had only been released 5 days beforehand, and most people probably weren't like me - buying it on the first day and listening to it nonstop). "Crazy Times" came up next... it's not really one of my favorites from their catalog, but it's always been a favorite in concert. This rendition though, suffered a bit from two reasons: 1) the lack of an electric guitar sapped a fair amount of energy, and 2) they should have done acoustic riffs on the guitars to make up for the lack of the electric instead of the keyboard breakdown. Just my opinion, of course.

They then began a few songs off the new album, and boy, I think at least some of the audience was surprised. While "Show You Love", the first single, isn't a huge departure from the sound of previous albums, the next song they played - "Amazing Grace" - is more bluegrass than anything they've ever done. Sitting in the balcony, I could observe the folks in the bottom section slowly begin to sit down as they realized that this year's show was going to be less about the show and more about the raw music.

The Jars have clearly become more proficient at their instruments - the voices had a higher range and clearer tone, the harmonies were tighter, Charlie got to show off quite a bit on the keyboard, and the acoustics complemented each other nicely. Overall, it was a very mellow set. In the middle of the show, they brought out a few stools for the guys to sit down, whic basically invited the audience to sit as well. Dan then gave a touching introduction to the next song, saying that while they were writing for The Eleventh Hour album, someone close to the band had passed away, and that one of the great things about music is that it gives you an outlet to work through grief. They originally weren't going to record the song, but then a friend suggested, "Maybe other people can use your song to help them through hard times as well." This put "The Valley Song" in a whole new light - while I liked it before (although I thought the "gypsy" simile is a bit clunky), it's even more meaningful now.

They then pulled out the hat gimmick that I'd read about online - basically, they prepare seven songs and drop the titles into a hat, then invite audience members to come up and draw three songs that they'd perform. Spontaneity is cool. They ended up performing a faithful rendition of "Lonely People", a positively exquisite "Frail", and "Revolution", which suffered from the lack of the electric guitar/acoustic guitar riffs that I mentioned for Crazy Times. Before playing Frail, Dan gave a short intro saying that he was walking down a street in Nashville when he heard someone call his name. When he turned around, he saw a dark-haired guy running full-speed at him, and he was "frankly kinda scared. Then the guy stopped and said, 'Your dirt removes my blindness / Your pain becomes my peace. What were you thinking?' And that was my introduction to Steve Delopoulos." Reminds me of a story he told at last year's concert where he was ice skating and got run over by another, clumsier skater, and that was his introduction to Steve Mason. Guess that's how Dan meets guys named Steve.

There were several songs off the new CD (Show You Love, Lonely People, Trouble Is, Sunny Days, Amazing Grace) that I enjoyed immensely - I'm liking the soul/gospel/blues/country sound because they do it well. The "final song" of the set was old (and my) favorite "Worlds Apart", which the audience enthusiastically joined in on. It was a fairly standard rendition until they reached the "ramble" at the end which most fans know by heart - they changed things up a bit this time by cutting it off before the repeat, and then seguing into the lyrics of "Jesus' Blood Never Failed Me Yet", a song off the new CD that I didn't care for that much. It fit in better here though, as they used a similar melody to Worlds Apart with the lyrics.

The encore consisted of the classic "Love Song for a Savior", an old hymn that I didn't recognize (with Delopoulos coming out to sing alternate verses with Dan), and a cover of an upbeat Johnny Cash tune that they enlisted Caedmon's to help out on. The first was basically similar to the version on the Furthermore studio album, with Steve Mason on mandolin. Side note: the two "nonstandard instruments" that I think would be fun to learn are the mandolin and the hammered dulcimer. I mean, how cool would it be to bust one of those out at a jam session? Anyway, 'twas fun to get the audience singing along to the entire song.

The Cash cover was also a lot of fun, as basically it was one big acoustic rock/country jam, with breakdowns at the end for the mandolin, the accordion, the piano, the drums/percussion, with the spotlight moving accordingly... sent most of the patrons out the door with smiles on their faces. The bands looked like they were just having one big jam session and having a great time while at it.

So, what could have been improved? I think that the style Jars played tonight would have worked much better with a smaller venue - mostly acoustic, letting the lyrics and the instruments shine rather than big shiny "concert" stuff. Both of the upbeat tunes featuring electrics suffered without them (Crazy Times and Revolution), as I think they should have done acoustic guitar riffs rather than having the keyboard fill in. Otherwise, it was a great show - the highlights for me were "Frail" (gorgeous live), "Valley Song", and the new songs. The other ones, I've heard live before, and they were better before.

All in all, I had a great time, but I could easily imagine a better show with all my ideals: I get to hear Delopoulos' set, Caedmon's either gets Derek/Tate back or Andy O takes on a bigger role, and Jars keeps one electric around to switch between chillin' acoustic music and rockin' acoustic/electric music. I can always dream.

Scraping my nose on this grindstone

Gonna be a crazy busy two weeks, folks. Won't get to write too much, but will try to stay as sane as possible.

The tar smell is back.

Been feeling a bit off-center recently with regard to work, ministry, relationships with people, and rest. For those that pray, please pray that I can learn how to effectively balance out these areas by living each area out to the fullest that I can, seeing God's hand in each. Thanks in advance.

Coming up in time: Jars/Caedmon's concert review and reflections on pessimism and optimism.

Weekend in short

Lotsa driving. Between Friday's work commute to Sunday afternoon after church, I've racked up 333 miles.

Drove up to Richmond Friday night and balled with the 5824 guys at JLau's church from 11 pm to 2 am. That brought back memories of college days where we'd ball till the wee hours of the morning, then hit up Nations for food. Thankfully, I'm not overly sore. I wasn't overly assertive - this happens when the most athletic player on your team is prone to chucking up 27-ft three pointers and not passing - but eventually found my three-point and bankshot stroke to combat Danny's physical domination of me inside. Memorable: JLau swishing like 10 straight mid-range jumpers, Danny's inside play (shovel passes and pass fakes), a near alley-oop dunk by another player, personally: ~5-6 blocks, one scoop left-handed layup while bouncing off a defending shot-blocker. Oh, and winning the last 3-on-3 game 32-31 by hitting a three over Danny's outstretched arm.

Stayed overnight at 5824 (went to sleep at 4 am early Sat morning), then drove up to Tomio and Alice's new place in Sacramento for a housewarming bbq. 'Twas good to hang out with them again and catch up with the new marrieds' life, and also to say hello to a starved-for-attention Oski. Hung out with the newlyweds, JPoon, JLau and Mel, and also Kim and Mike (who showed us the video/slideshow and photo album made from their small group's mission trip to China in August). Had the ABC Family Channel on in the background, which was playing the legendary Karate Kid movie. JLau ended up psychoanalyzing Daniel LaRusso - "This kid's already been in LA for a few months, doesn't he have any friends besides an old Japanese man and the girl he's trying to hook up with?"

Left the bbq at 5:30 for the Jars/Caedmon's concert in Castro Valley. Ran into rain and traffic, which caused me to miss 3 out of the 4 songs performed by the opening act, Steven Delopoulos. Fortunately, I was able to meet him after the concert. Detailed concert review to come.

Got woken up at 5:30 am Sunday morning by a triple boom of thunder. That ranks as the second loudest peal of thunder I've heard; the #1 slot belongs to a rumble that knocked out power on my block and caused car alarms to go off.

Challenging sermon yesterday from Pastor Dan, about the usage of time. Some highlights:
- society has elevated busyness to a level of esteem that it's not worth. For example: busyness is an acceptable excuse to avoid problems in other areas of life. The phrase, "Thanks for taking time out of your busy schedule."
- Jesus intentionally built in time into his potentially crazy busy schedule for 1) prayer and rest (Matt 14:23) and 2) spontaneity (e.g. dining with Zacchaeus the tax collector) .

Still trying to figure out how to apply this to my life, with its current state of busyness. Comments welcome :-).

Kids say the darndest things

This is kinda cute:

TABLE GRACE

Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." (Matthew 19:14, NIV)

At a family dinner, two parents were surprised to hear their young son thanking "Harold" for the food they were about to eat. At this, dad interrupted and said, "Wait a minute, how come you called God, 'Harold'?" The little boy looked up and said, "That's what they call Him in church. You know the prayer we say, 'Our Father, who art in Heaven, Harold be Thy name.'"

* * *

A five-year-old said grace at family dinner one night. "Dear God, thank you for these pancakes." When he concluded, his parents asked him why he thanked God for pancakes when they were having chicken. He smiled and said, "I thought I'd see if He was paying attention tonight."

* * *

A woman invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to her six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?" "I wouldn't know what to say," the little girl replied. "Just say what you hear Mommy say," the mother said. The little girl bowed her head and said, "Dear Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"

Odds and ends

- The air circulation system at my office is malfunctioning right now, so when the fan is on, we're taking in outside air. It just so happens that our next door neighbor is tarring his roof, which gets sucked straight into our vents, which then fumigates the entire engineering section to smell like asphalt. Since we're engineers, we don't have any windows or doors to the outside to help air things out. It was like they're paving a new road in here. Fortunately, we've been able to turn off the air. Better to have stale air than be breathing in all those air particles.

- Current CD: Who We Are Instead, Jars of Clay. My favorite band released their 5th studio album this past Tuesday. They're one of the few bands for whom I'll buy their album on the release date; I'm usually quite content waiting for it to come out on BMG or even Amazon-Used.

Why are they my favorite band? One reason is that their debut CD had a huge impact on my life, back in 1996. Essentially, they were the band that got me into music. The song "Worlds Apart" off their debut is still my favorite song of all time - the line "Did You really have to die for me?" still gets me every time.

They've remained my favorite band over the years because as I've grown, changed, and matured, they have as well. While many initial fans have fallen away because their sound has changed with just about every CD, I've grown to appreciate and adore their courage and willingness to stretch their musical and artistic boundaries instead of staying safely inside what they knew was popular. Perhaps I identify with that because the past 7 years since 1996 have also reflected the greatest change and stretching in my life, resulting in growth that would never have come had I remained safely inside what I knew. This gives me confidence to continue to take risks, and I hope that Jars continues to take risks as well.

Anyway, on to their CD. I sorta knew what to expect, but it was still a bit surprising - it appears that their friendship with former Caedmon's Call member Derek Webb has influenced their songwriting, and they were listening to a lot of Johnny Cash before producing this album. This is pretty much a folk album with blues, gospel and even a little country influence. It sounds completely different from the basic pop/rock of The Eleventh Hour, their most recent studio album. Frankly, I like this one more than that one already. Time will tell where it eventually ends up in my personal hierarchy of their albums. The overall theme of the album is the tension of living as Christians in a world that is not our home, that pales in comparison with that which is to come... a theme that has been near and dear to my heart over the past few years.

Lyric of the day: Can't find no rest for my soul / Can't find no rest on my own / Jesus told me so / Man, the trouble is / We don't know who we are instead

- Observation: in the Silicon Valley, there may be no more racially diverse place than Wal-Mart. It's one of the places where I don't mind waiting in line because it's fun to people-watch.

- Random pet peeve: professional writers (particularly sportswriters) who don't know the difference between "compliment" and "complement". It annoys the heck out of me to read an article saying "So-and-so complimented star player so-and-so by scoring 20 points of his own." You'd think that it's a distinction used in every team sport, people should get it right.